The Great Chicago Oil Slick....

[Eric Siepmann]

Here's a little something to brighten your Monday.

I don't exactly know why, but my truck is always fighting me. I buy it the finest oils, and grease, keep it well maintained and in tip top shape. Doesn't matter.

It is sunny and 73 in Chicago. The Amsoil arrived from Roversnorth with the new brass washer. I bought a K&N gold filter and Valve Treatment from EE came a day later. I had them arranged within easy reach in the driveway, and was ready for a quick clean oil change.

I remove the oil cap on the engine and dipstick, and clean them off per the shop manual. This was going to be just as easy as the Jeep or the VW I thought. I crawl under the rover and locate the drain plug. Hmmmmmm, kinda weird how it's off to the side. I position the oil pan for the old oil. Perfect. No mess on my driveway today. I crawl under and begin to unscrew the drain plug. Oh shit! Missed judged the oil something fierce. 2-3 quarts gush out onto my driveway. I am getting a shower in old oil and cursing like a sailor. Oil flows over my driveway. Damn. Even worse is the guy mowing his lawn across the street drives his mower into an oak tree. He can't take his eyes off the quarts of oil on my drive way. I wait. Then it comes. Oil Change? he says. I reply that I am redoing the blacktop. Oil drains. Neighbors are miraculously appearing in windows now watching in horror. Screw it. Fill with new oil. Onto the filter. Cept' my friend DJ has my filter wrench. No big deal. I'll stab the offending filter with a screw driver and viola! My ass. Screw driver won't pierce the filter. Mowing neighbor is now wondering why I am pounding on my truck in the middle of a large oil slick. Finally, the screw driver is in. I turn. Nothing. Won't budge. Better yet, oil is now pouring on me, yet again. F bombs are dropped again. Louder than before. Filter finally gives into the oil monster thrashing under the rover. I change it and am done. I jump into the rover and turn her over. Ahhhh. Almost done.


This is when I realize that I am now sitting on brand new Badger Coachworks seat covers - covered in oil. I luck out, no major stains. I toss the seat into the lawn frantically trying to get the cover off. Success. Mower guy is now laughing at me. I resist the urge to give him the finger. Seat covers now go into the laundry room to soak in detergent before washing. I emerge from the garage. Just in time to bump into my new neighbors - been there less than a week. I am muttering to myself. Pissed off. I hear Mike the new neighbor, say this is eric our neighbor, nice guy.... Then he stops. He sees me now. His father looks at me in horror, then sees the rover. Oh, he says, it's a land rover huh? They depart hastily. Oil is pooling in the low spots on my driveway. No problem, I just bought cat litter. Nope. that was last weekend and it's still on the to do list this weekend.

Defeated, I grab a litter box. Ripe, since I hate cleaning them. Mower guy stares as I dump old litter and cat shit onto spill. It works. Oil is absorbed and the chaos is starting to lull. Cept now I have cat shit all over my driveway. I bag the oil soaked litter as best I could, and pour simple green on the shadow of the exon siepmann. Agitate it with a broom and there's no trace. Except have my asphalt looks shiney black and new, and the other half looks worn and grey.

I hang my head with shame as I go inside and begin to mix a huge margarita with a triple shot of Cuervo. Skip the mix and down about 5 shots.

The rover is always fighting me.......Can't wait till 3000 to change it again. Maybe I'll call mower neighbor so he can sit comfortably in a lawn chair next time.

EwS

[mikeslandrover]

Been there, done that :confused
I now put a large sheet of hardboard on the drive and hold the bucket really close to the drain plug hole.I let the sump plug fall into the bucket with the oil and recover it later. Also the hardboard lets you slide out of the way real quick if the hot oil goes in unanticipated directions :)

[Mike Hippert]

LMAO, You are not alone! I like to change my oil over someone elses house, I say hey do you want too learn how to chang the oil in your car? They are like "yeah but I don't know, I don't want to mess anything up". So I say "well I need to do mine I'll come over your house and teach you how to do it on my Defender". Ha ha Suckers:naughty

Just kidding,


But check these out.

http://www.sf.hiof.no/~frodehaa/service/engineoil.htm

http://www.landroverclub.net/Club/HTML/Cheap_tricks_oilchange.htm

[dmarchand]

As the boys said, your not alone. I was stupidly wearing a nice, new mountain hardware jacket at the time an old GF had just given me as a present. I did the exact same and proceeded to turn it into an oily fleece. Now it's so faded from use and wash, you couldn't tell. But lessons learned on changing the oil in a rover.

Also, BWO has some nice wall art in their shop. My last oil filter on my removed 4.0. They had to use a chain wrench to get it off. Seems to be common.

[wicks]

BRILLIANT STORY Eric. Laughing uncontrollably. The Oil Monster and Exxon Siepmann! Hahahahahaa!

Oh, I swear by hitting the drive through oil change. You can even supply your own at most and they charge a little bit to do it (5 minutes). Of course, no mess, and they dispose, etc.

[DJ Menasco]

Hilarious Story Eric!

Funny thing is I was changing my oil that day too and not to brag, but its never gone more smoothly? I couldn't believe it myself.

I didn't get any oil on myself or burnt by the cats. when I went to drain the sump. No spills of Exxon proportions. No annoying extra trips to the store for that quart of oil I didn't account for. I didn't misplace my filter wrench this time and hence, I didn't have to use my most robust Phillips to remove the filter, which as you know is always a complete disaster. It seems as if it was your day to carry the torch! :grin

DJ

[Joe P]

That is too funny. Mostly because it resonates with me as well. About a week ago, I changed my oil and the same thing happened. I still have two huge oil stains on my driveway.

[Eric Siepmann]

Well it's comforting to know that I am not the only one.

I plan on changing the Oil in neighbors driveway next time. Hell I'll even dump the litter box in his driveway even if I don't spill. It can be my "finishing Move" if you will.. That or I'll change it over the virgin half off my Driveway.

On the plus side though, the damn check engine light is now off. Guess the truck felt a little bad about the whole episode...

EwS

[rover4x4]

been there had that happen. all over the catalytic converter, and the tire. seems Rover woulda accomadated that, go figure...

[dchapman]

http://www.funtigo.com/sv4w?g=853016

[Burke]

Well Eric, it could have been worse. My last change, I actually destroyed the filter trying to get it off. After four hours of trying, had her towed in..... I think Wicks has the right idea, Jiffy-Lube!

[newfD90]

Sounds like my first D90 oil change. All over the inside of the garage.

My last one went more smoothly. I got an old plastic gallon jug and cut it at a 45deg angle. That way you can use the jug's handle and position it just right to deflect the oil tsunami into the drain pan. That part went OK, but the oil filter did not. It was so damn tight that I ripped it in half with the filter wrench. Nothing like warm oil running up your armpit.

[Trigger]

.... I think Wicks has the right idea, Jiffy-Lube!

That's what I use....hit it in the morning on the way to work and they'll do it for $19.99. They supply the oil and filter even and handle disposal. I figure $20 is worth not having to deal with oil everywhere. Nice thing is, they know nothing about the 90 and aren't walking into the waiting area every 3 minutes to tell me I need to replace a fuel filter or air filter or even a disgronificator valve. I'm sure they get near losing money on me because they can't sell me extras like I see them do to the poor soccer moms.

[Eric Siepmann]

I have to save face next time. It will be clean as a whistle. Now that I've mojo'd myself, you'll be reading about how the D-90 spontaneously exploded during the change.

EwS

[Ragland]

It can be really tough trying to judge where the oil will land when emptying out. Worse, the arc moves inward as the level drops. Autozone now carries a plastic flat can with a much larger mouth. Still, I always have a piece of cardboard for the driveway underneath.

Don't worry, though. I sheared my O2 sensor in half, and the exhaust pipe section had to be torched out.

[PeterMan]

This thread could have been called "My first time"
Did the same thing still have the "waterproof" spots on the garage to show for it (no kitty litter)

[Mike Hippert]

I don't know Peter, I think some may think something else when you say "My first time" :grin

[cbass]

both "first times" referred to have similarities however, so it still might be OK to name the thread that....

Similarities: Slip-sliding around, hot oil, vulgar words, soiled seat covers, margaritas, and Cuervo...:grin

[Hans]

I think I may have found the solution to this problem in Pep-Boys the other day. They have drain plugs that are actually little valves, and you attach a tube to them and drain through the tube! If anybody knows the threading on the Defender drain plug, next time I am in that area I'll see if they have one that fits.

Been there, done that. Recently switched to K&N oil filters, had been using Fram "Tough Guard". Oops, the K&N is nice slick painted filter as opposed to the handy dandy easy grip of the Fram. Still, I like having the check-valve in the filter, time for another additional tool.

-Hans

[Mike Hippert]

both "first times" referred to have similarities however, so it still might be OK to name the thread that....

Similarities: Slip-sliding around, hot oil, vulgar words, soiled seat covers, margaritas, and Cuervo...:grinYes very true now that you say that, hmmm now I need to watch this thread more closly.

I think I may have found the solution to this problem in Pep-Boys the other day. They have drain plugs that are actually little valves, and you attach a tube to them and drain through the tube! If anybody knows the threading on the Defender drain plug, next time I am in that area I'll see if they have one that fits.

Been there, done that. Recently switched to K&N oil filters, had been using Fram "Tough Guard". Oops, the K&N is nice slick painted filter as opposed to the handy dandy easy grip of the Fram. Still, I like having the check-valve in the filter, time for another additional tool.

-HansThis one http://www.difflock.com/drainplug/index.shtml . And don't the fram K&N filters have a nut welded to the end to make them easier to take on and off.

[Hans]

And don't the K&N filters have a nut welded to the end to make them easier to take on and off.

Yeah, the nut does help to loosen and tighten it, but they are still a beast to pre-fill and get started on the threading. Too slippery and I keep dropping them. Hilarity Ensues.

-Hans

[Mike Hippert]

Yeah, the nut does help to loosen and tighten it, but they are still a beast to pre-fill and get started on the threading. Too slippery and I keep dropping them. Hilarity Ensues.

-Hans

Ahh yes, I agree totaly, the K&Ns are hard to hold, I use the Frams they are much easier to install. Do you bring the fiter in from the top? I always bring them in from bottom, you get more oil on yourself but it is much easier.

[Hans]

I push the filter up from underneath, but it's that little sideways tip that makes it messy. The vertical filters was something I always appreciated with Chevy 350's.

The only reason I even use the K&N as opposed to the Fram is because RoversNorth makes such a big deal about the backcheck valves and I can't tell if the Fram has one or not.

-Hans

[PeterMan]

Hey hans,

That's a good Norwegian name you got there. The Frams suck, if I remember correctly they don't and that will lead to more dry starts. You get them anyway because of the setup of the engine but without the checkvalve its worse.

I read an article that tested the different oil filters (I'll post the link if I remember when I get home) the fram performed the worst and its design was the worst. So not only is there no checkvalve its also a poor design, except for the nice black end that gives you a chance to really get a hold of it.

[cbass]

I second that comment about the Frams. We had been having some sludge problems with our Disco, and I replaced the rockers and cleaned the valve covers and sump, then I bought the Fram oil filters because I figured I would only run the car for a few hundred miles before changing the oil again (with Marvel Mystery Oil in it). I used the Fram and during the first day of driving it, the oil pressure light started to flicker. I heard about the Frams being bad and changed the oil just a few days later. Put a K&N on and now I have no more flickering. Seems to run really good now.

[chris snell]

Here's a little tip for removing oil filters that I learned from my Disco-driving friend, Sean.

Instead of trying to impale your old filter with a screwdriver when you can't find your filter wrench, try this:

1. Take a peice of nylon webbing about 1-2' long. You say you don't have some webbing lying around? Shame on you! Do you have a dog leash? They're usually made from webbing.

2. Wrap the webbing around your old filter. Now, take a pair of pliers and grab the two ends of the webbing with the pliers.

3. Twist the pliers until the webbing is wrapped around the pliers nicely and is very tight around the filter. Now, use the pliers like a cam to unscrew your filter!

[mikeslandrover]

Or you could
a) put your tools away neatly so you can find them

or

b) buy a filter wrench :) that will work on exactly the same principal.

Oil changes are messy enough without going about them in a half a**ed way. :angry

[Mike Hippert]

Or you go over your moms and dads place and steal your dads oil filter wrench that happens to be the right size :)

[Hans]

I've found the oil doesn't come out as fast if you leave everything on the top plugged up. Leave the cap on, dipstick in and everything. If you open it up on the top end, BIG difference. Overflowed my funnel last time I tried taking the cap off to change the oil.

I still keep telling myself I am going to get one of those FRAM things that have the drain hose, but I never do. Kinda like that brass coolant plug that 's still sitting in a box somewhere because it's too much work to get the remains of the old plastic one off.

-Hans

[Bowtracer]

A good majority of filters have a check valve its nothing but a peice of rubber around the outside holes. If you are still not sure blow into the center if its tighter than a nats ass yer good to go!

[scoloco]

My last oil change was pretty not oily (I still needed latex gloves to take the drain out though). I have a southdown skidplate that is situated such that it catchs half the oil that comes out of the sump (at least it did last time, and I had oil dripping onto the ground from everywhere).
This time I cut the bottom off a milk jug, and put that up as my funnel from the sump. Worked pretty damn good. Next time I need to try the 'drain the filter' trick for a really not-so-messy attempt.